A couple of weeks ago I made mixed CD's for both of my sisters and my dad. I think we all needed it. For me it was the reminder to them that I thought of them and loved them even if distance prevented me from hugging them like I wanted.
On dad's mixed CD. . which I titled Daddy Mix. .I added a song that always had a place in our house. Sung by the very powerful and very great George Jones. From the time we could walk and talk, he surrounded us with music. Another very great love he gave my sisters and I. I remember mixed tapes that were carted off by my sisters and I too. This song was contained on one such tape.
So during our conversation afterward, my daddy said to me. . "I love my CD, it reminds me of the ones I used to make for your girls. You thought of everything. I love Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes. It made me think of Rick."
I am not going to lie. It was exactly what I didn't know I needed to hear. I got off the phone with my dad, crawled into my husbands lap, and cried like a baby. Just another way Uncle Rick has been keeping his promise to me. .and to all of us really. He always said he would never be to far away and every time I needed him he was. So, let me give to you the words I had inadvertently given to myself.
Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes
George Jones
You know this old world is full of singers
But just a few are chosen
To tear your heart out when they sing
Imagine life without them
All your, radio heros
Like the outlaw that walks through Jesse's dream
No, there will never be another
Red-headed stranger
A Man in Black and Folsom Prison Blues
The Okie from Muskogee
Or Hello Darling
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes
(Chorus:)
Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna stand that tall
Who's gonna play the Opry
And the Wabash Cannonball
Who's gonna give their heart and soul
To get to me and you
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes
God bless the boys from Memphis
Blue Suede Shoes and Elvis
Much too soon he left this world in tears
They tore up the Fifties
Old Jerry Lee and Charlie
And old Go Cat Go still echoes through the years
You know the heart of country music
Still beats in Luke the Drifer
You can tell when hew sings I Saw the Light
Old Marty, Hank and Lefty
Why I can feel them right here with me
On this Silver Eagle rolling through the night
It just makes me realize that I miss him. The pain has gotten easier to live with, the breathing part so much better. . The missing him never gets better. I miss the comfort of knowing he was always only an hour or so away. I miss the birthday calls that I still wake up every year for, the odd boxes of Twinkies I would get as Christmas presents, the unholy punches I would get in the arm, and the constant state of laughter. Most of all I just miss him.
I know without a doubt though, my Uncle is never to far away just like he always said he would me. Thank you my angel! Thank you daddy!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Walk a Mile in their Shoes. . .A Day in MY Life
This week, an acquaintance of mine said to me.
"Well, you are at home all day, how hard can that be? Don't you get childcare too?"
Most of you are probably thinking. . how rude! I know I did too. I had to fight to suppress the urge to extend my arm and smack someone upside the head. I just looked at them and smiled.
"Let me tell you a little bit about my day ma'am. Maybe you will understand."
So, my lovely readers and followers. Let me take you through a day in MY life. First off, let me take a step back and take a deep breath. You are going to need it.
My day starts bright and early. Some days I sleep until 0400 (4:00am) and on the rare lucky day, I get to sleep until 0500 or 0530 (5:00am or 5:30am) depending on when Jon has to be at work. Well, what is the purpose of that you ask? Let me tell you. Because of the delay in treatment for the TBI, his brain healed lacking all of the knowledge and abilities that the injury directly affected.
Some sounds he hears, some he doesn't, others he can't even react to. The alarm has become one of those things. We have tried phone and different alarms, none of them seem to work. Therefore, I wake up with the alarm, coax him out of bed and spend the following time back and forth between the kids and him making sure he gets out of the house in time. Well, you are probably wondering why do you have to follow him around. . Because of his combination of medications and our ongoing appointments to get that straightened out, he has periods where he drops back off to sleep no matter how awake he is when he gets up.
So from there I go back upstairs, re-settle the boys, then climb back into bed after he leaves. Some days I doze back off for another half an hour and others I am to far awake to do even close my eyes. But I almost always crawl back into bed to enjoy the silence that falls across my home.
The boys are up and raring to go by 0930 (9:30am). So I get them up and changed and settled with some juice watching their cartoons while I make their breakfast. After breakfast we get dressed for the day. Some days, the days with appointments, they go to daycare. Through a very generous program, a grant was given to my family so that my children could go to daycare. Allowing them to learn and grow and interact with kids their age instead of sitting in appointment after appointment trying to figure out how to help daddy. What a relief. So yes, I do have childcare, given to me by the kindness of strangers who took pity on a frazzled mother of two trying hard to keep her family grounded.
So depending on what day it is and what is happening, I either take the boys to daycare or get them settled with activities while mommy tries to get some things done and put together for daddy. Well, at this point you are probably asking what could I possibly have to do for my husband and get in order for him. . .Well, let me tell you.
Currently my life is a long line of lists, file folders, medical reports, injury information, injury treatments, doctor requests, referrals, sticky notes, and note cards plastered to every surface of my house.
After getting my lists of TO-DO stuff ready for the day I get dressed. If the boys are with me, it is while they eat lunch. If not, then it is while Jon is getting changed to head to whatever appointment we may have. Sounds like fun huh. By this time I have already been awake and moving 7 or so hours. You would think I would be tired, well guess what. . I AM! However, I can't stop moving. There is to much left to be done.
After said appointments, we pick up the boys, come home, change them, get them down for naps, and then stop to eat. My first meal of the day.
After nap time comes dinner. How do I do it. . Careful planning my people, very careful planning. I sit down every two weeks and meticulously plan every meal, snack, beverage, and expenditure. I know where every penny in my home goes and to what it is used for. It is a necessity for us, not because we hurt for money, but because every single penny is used. Gas, food, mailing expenses, copiers, car repairs, and the few and far between prescriptions that DoD pharmacies do not carry.
My night winds down around 2130 (9:30pm) at which time we bathe the boys and put them to bed. When the boys are down, Jon and I bring all of our organizational materials to the bed and pow wow. My planner, the dry erase calendar, his PDA, our sticky notes, and our pens. For the next half hour we map out our next days and week.
By then we are nearing 2300 (11:00pm) so I pile myself into the shower, take my medicine then plop onto the bed with a book, word searches, or logic puzzles and wait for Jon to be finished. After his shower he takes his meds and crawl into bed.
Within minutes, quite literally, he is asleep. I spend the next hour or two or three making sure the three of them are well and truly asleep without incident. What are their incidents you are thinking right?
For Caleb, incidents come in the form of nightmares and night terrors. Night terrors are extreme states of sleep and combative motions. Caleb has been known to scream until he turns blue in the face, cry relentlessly, claw at anyone other than myself who tries to touch him, and often walks or falls and hurts himself. This prevents us from putting he and his brother in the same room for now. It also keeps us from putting extra blankets or dressers or pictures in his room as well. We have had to put a gate into his door frame so he isn't able to wander around during these episodes or bring harm to himself.
Andrew is 14 months old and is cutting around 8 or 9 teeth at present so this comes in the form of 2am crying fits where he is inconsolable. I usually pick him up and rock and sing with him for a few minutes before giving him some tylenol and putting him back to bed.
Jons night ailments used to be the worst. His came in the form of pacing or talking or sometimes both at once. He also have periods of combative sleep as well. In addition to those, he would be easily spooked by alarms or loud noises or storms. I have several times talked him out from under the bed or out of the closet. . once it was from between the tub and toilet where he had hunkered down when a car backfired.
Sounds like fun huh?! So there you have it. .by the time all of this is said and done it is around two in the morning and I am up a mere two hours later to start the next day.
So, that is a day in MY life. In closing I leave you images of my dinner from last night.
My children sat on the other day of the table and ate while my husband slept peacefully in his chair after finishing his meal. I was awake until 1:30 this morning and was up for the day around 9.
So, there you have it. A day in MY life. Is it hard? Oh yes. Am I tired? Unbelieveably so. Would I change a thing? Never in a million years. It may not be perfect, but it is all mine and I wouldn't have it any other way.
"Well, you are at home all day, how hard can that be? Don't you get childcare too?"
Most of you are probably thinking. . how rude! I know I did too. I had to fight to suppress the urge to extend my arm and smack someone upside the head. I just looked at them and smiled.
"Let me tell you a little bit about my day ma'am. Maybe you will understand."
So, my lovely readers and followers. Let me take you through a day in MY life. First off, let me take a step back and take a deep breath. You are going to need it.
My day starts bright and early. Some days I sleep until 0400 (4:00am) and on the rare lucky day, I get to sleep until 0500 or 0530 (5:00am or 5:30am) depending on when Jon has to be at work. Well, what is the purpose of that you ask? Let me tell you. Because of the delay in treatment for the TBI, his brain healed lacking all of the knowledge and abilities that the injury directly affected.
Some sounds he hears, some he doesn't, others he can't even react to. The alarm has become one of those things. We have tried phone and different alarms, none of them seem to work. Therefore, I wake up with the alarm, coax him out of bed and spend the following time back and forth between the kids and him making sure he gets out of the house in time. Well, you are probably wondering why do you have to follow him around. . Because of his combination of medications and our ongoing appointments to get that straightened out, he has periods where he drops back off to sleep no matter how awake he is when he gets up.
So from there I go back upstairs, re-settle the boys, then climb back into bed after he leaves. Some days I doze back off for another half an hour and others I am to far awake to do even close my eyes. But I almost always crawl back into bed to enjoy the silence that falls across my home.
The boys are up and raring to go by 0930 (9:30am). So I get them up and changed and settled with some juice watching their cartoons while I make their breakfast. After breakfast we get dressed for the day. Some days, the days with appointments, they go to daycare. Through a very generous program, a grant was given to my family so that my children could go to daycare. Allowing them to learn and grow and interact with kids their age instead of sitting in appointment after appointment trying to figure out how to help daddy. What a relief. So yes, I do have childcare, given to me by the kindness of strangers who took pity on a frazzled mother of two trying hard to keep her family grounded.
So depending on what day it is and what is happening, I either take the boys to daycare or get them settled with activities while mommy tries to get some things done and put together for daddy. Well, at this point you are probably asking what could I possibly have to do for my husband and get in order for him. . .Well, let me tell you.
Currently my life is a long line of lists, file folders, medical reports, injury information, injury treatments, doctor requests, referrals, sticky notes, and note cards plastered to every surface of my house.
After getting my lists of TO-DO stuff ready for the day I get dressed. If the boys are with me, it is while they eat lunch. If not, then it is while Jon is getting changed to head to whatever appointment we may have. Sounds like fun huh. By this time I have already been awake and moving 7 or so hours. You would think I would be tired, well guess what. . I AM! However, I can't stop moving. There is to much left to be done.
After said appointments, we pick up the boys, come home, change them, get them down for naps, and then stop to eat. My first meal of the day.
After nap time comes dinner. How do I do it. . Careful planning my people, very careful planning. I sit down every two weeks and meticulously plan every meal, snack, beverage, and expenditure. I know where every penny in my home goes and to what it is used for. It is a necessity for us, not because we hurt for money, but because every single penny is used. Gas, food, mailing expenses, copiers, car repairs, and the few and far between prescriptions that DoD pharmacies do not carry.
My night winds down around 2130 (9:30pm) at which time we bathe the boys and put them to bed. When the boys are down, Jon and I bring all of our organizational materials to the bed and pow wow. My planner, the dry erase calendar, his PDA, our sticky notes, and our pens. For the next half hour we map out our next days and week.
By then we are nearing 2300 (11:00pm) so I pile myself into the shower, take my medicine then plop onto the bed with a book, word searches, or logic puzzles and wait for Jon to be finished. After his shower he takes his meds and crawl into bed.
Within minutes, quite literally, he is asleep. I spend the next hour or two or three making sure the three of them are well and truly asleep without incident. What are their incidents you are thinking right?
For Caleb, incidents come in the form of nightmares and night terrors. Night terrors are extreme states of sleep and combative motions. Caleb has been known to scream until he turns blue in the face, cry relentlessly, claw at anyone other than myself who tries to touch him, and often walks or falls and hurts himself. This prevents us from putting he and his brother in the same room for now. It also keeps us from putting extra blankets or dressers or pictures in his room as well. We have had to put a gate into his door frame so he isn't able to wander around during these episodes or bring harm to himself.
Andrew is 14 months old and is cutting around 8 or 9 teeth at present so this comes in the form of 2am crying fits where he is inconsolable. I usually pick him up and rock and sing with him for a few minutes before giving him some tylenol and putting him back to bed.
Jons night ailments used to be the worst. His came in the form of pacing or talking or sometimes both at once. He also have periods of combative sleep as well. In addition to those, he would be easily spooked by alarms or loud noises or storms. I have several times talked him out from under the bed or out of the closet. . once it was from between the tub and toilet where he had hunkered down when a car backfired.
Sounds like fun huh?! So there you have it. .by the time all of this is said and done it is around two in the morning and I am up a mere two hours later to start the next day.
So, that is a day in MY life. In closing I leave you images of my dinner from last night.
My children sat on the other day of the table and ate while my husband slept peacefully in his chair after finishing his meal. I was awake until 1:30 this morning and was up for the day around 9.
So, there you have it. A day in MY life. Is it hard? Oh yes. Am I tired? Unbelieveably so. Would I change a thing? Never in a million years. It may not be perfect, but it is all mine and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Embracing Faith - Letting Go, and Letting God
I can readily admit this: The past few weeks have boarded on the line of pure chaos. While getting caught up in all that I forgot the one person and one area of my life.
With all of the goings on, getting no sleep, stressing about bills and family, taking care of 4 people, and dealing with unknown diagnoses has stretch my will and and strength to its' breaking point. I feel like if I am pulled any thinner I will break.
The past few weeks I have struggled with my faith, understanding, strength. I have doubted myself, my capabilities, my strength, and my will. I have lost sight of them completely.
These past couple of days especially have tested me. I am tired, worn out, stressed out, run down, and taking care of two sick kids and Jon. Last night I ended up sobbing like a child, shutting down, and ended up having an all out meltdown.
I went to put my laundry away and came across a little plaque given to me by dad. On it were the words "IF ALL ELSE FAILS, CALL DAD." That is precisely what I did. Gave me things to think about and I want to share them. They are Matthew 11:28 and Psalms 46.
Psalm 46
- God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
- Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
- Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
- There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
- God is in the amidst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
- The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
- The aLord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
- Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
- He maketh awars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
- 10 Be astill, and bknow that I am God: I will be cexalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
- The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
Matthew 11:28
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden , and I will give you rest . Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
After reading those I realized something. Whenever my faith is failing me or I am losing hope, HE is there. Through every doubt I have and every trial when I think he isn't listening, those are the times he says. .look around you and be thankful. You may not see me all of the time, but I am there.
So I leave you with this saying, and this amazing song that I love.
"Let go and let God"
and
"I Pray" by Lonestar
I can't quote the Bible
I skipped Sunday school
And I can't count the times I fell and broken the golden rule
So I don't know if He listens
Sometimes I wonder if He cares
Maybe I'm just wishin'
'Cause I can't even prove he's there
But I pray
He'll watch over my childern
I pray
Just to be a better man
To find the strength to rise above
To be there for the ones I love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
Now I confess I don't bow my head as often as I should
Mostly just when times are bad, rarely when they're good
And I don't hold with too much preachin'
But I was raised up to believe
That a man can't ever stand as tall
As when he gets down on his knees
So I pray
He'll watch over my childern
I pray
Just to be a better man
To find the strength to rise above
To be there for the ones I love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
So I pray
For a world that's gone half crazy
I pray
For every woman child and man
To find the strength to rise above
To teach each other how to love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
I pray
Until next time my loveys
B
With all of the goings on, getting no sleep, stressing about bills and family, taking care of 4 people, and dealing with unknown diagnoses has stretch my will and and strength to its' breaking point. I feel like if I am pulled any thinner I will break.
The past few weeks I have struggled with my faith, understanding, strength. I have doubted myself, my capabilities, my strength, and my will. I have lost sight of them completely.
These past couple of days especially have tested me. I am tired, worn out, stressed out, run down, and taking care of two sick kids and Jon. Last night I ended up sobbing like a child, shutting down, and ended up having an all out meltdown.
I went to put my laundry away and came across a little plaque given to me by dad. On it were the words "IF ALL ELSE FAILS, CALL DAD." That is precisely what I did. Gave me things to think about and I want to share them. They are Matthew 11:28 and Psalms 46.
Psalm 46
- God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
- Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
- Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
- There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
- God is in the amidst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
- The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
- The aLord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
- Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
- He maketh awars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
- 10 Be astill, and bknow that I am God: I will be cexalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
- The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
Matthew 11:28
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden , and I will give you rest . Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
After reading those I realized something. Whenever my faith is failing me or I am losing hope, HE is there. Through every doubt I have and every trial when I think he isn't listening, those are the times he says. .look around you and be thankful. You may not see me all of the time, but I am there.
So I leave you with this saying, and this amazing song that I love.
"Let go and let God"
and
"I Pray" by Lonestar
I can't quote the Bible
I skipped Sunday school
And I can't count the times I fell and broken the golden rule
So I don't know if He listens
Sometimes I wonder if He cares
Maybe I'm just wishin'
'Cause I can't even prove he's there
But I pray
He'll watch over my childern
I pray
Just to be a better man
To find the strength to rise above
To be there for the ones I love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
Now I confess I don't bow my head as often as I should
Mostly just when times are bad, rarely when they're good
And I don't hold with too much preachin'
But I was raised up to believe
That a man can't ever stand as tall
As when he gets down on his knees
So I pray
He'll watch over my childern
I pray
Just to be a better man
To find the strength to rise above
To be there for the ones I love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
So I pray
For a world that's gone half crazy
I pray
For every woman child and man
To find the strength to rise above
To teach each other how to love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
I pray
Until next time my loveys
B
Friday, July 23, 2010
Living In Fast Forward
They say a picture is worth a thousand words and I can sum up my past few days with one.
Jon saw the neurologist and an orthopedics specialist last week. The neurologist ended up giving him a headache preventative called propranolol. The rest of that appointment I am shaky on because they had me leave the room and he can't remember what she told him after I left which was what I was hoping to prevent while being in there.
Next was his ortho appointment for his back, knees, and feet. They took x-rays of all three and his bones look great. They are sound and show no signs of any injury. So, that doctor is pretty sure he has an arthritis problem in those particular joints and just a mass of inflammation in the muscles and tendons. For the inflammation they gave him Mobic and for the pain they gave him Tramadol.
He starts physical therapy at WRAMC this upcoming Monday. He has to be there by 0830. Next week he also has a sleep study being done up at AAFB.
The Zoloft and Prazosin seem to be really working although I think one of his new medications are counteracting the Prazosin. He has been extremely combative in his sleep this past week. Two days ago
We have also started using a color system in the house to identify and voice emotions. For example, if I get upset, angry, irritated, etc. . .all I would have to say is "I am going to red, please go some where for a few minutes and let me get a hold on it" or say if I notice him getting agitated or a little too forceful with the boys I can say "Orange, go take a break and calm down". .
Jon responds to the color system really well. We had a safe word there for a bit but he would usually just stare at me like I was stupid when I would use it to get him to back off or to take time to myself.
Thanks to the NMC nurse, his caseworker, and the CDC, I have actually been getting some help too! Someone donated a grant to us so now the boys are in daycare three days a week plus all appointments we may have. Caleb is thriving in that environment. They lady they stay with runs the daycare out of her home and has two kids their age. They both love it.
Let's see. I took Andrew to the doctor day before yesterday for a little infection in both ears and a HUGE blood blister on his gums. I had never seen something like that before so I just wanted to make sure. They say it should burst on its own and that molar should poke through on its own. He is 28 pounds and 31 inches tall.
I feel like I am floundering here, like I am failing miserably at keeping my family grounded. Between making sure the three of them have everything they need and keeping all of us on track and schedule, I rarely have time to remember that I am here.
I keep hoping that things will level out and calm down but it seems for now that I am stuck in this state of living in fast forward. I rarely have time to breathe let alone eat or sleep. I am stuck between complete exhaustion and frenzied activity.
The bright spot in this mess of crazy has always been and will always be my boys. It is so hard to have a bad day when every time they smile at me my heart melts. Let me share one such moment,a moment that reminds me that no matter how crazy things get or how tired or sick or disheartened I may become. . I always have two smiling faces and two sets of arms that make it all better. I know that no matter what happens in my life or has happened in the past. . I must have done something right to be blessed with these two amazing little people.
Through every harrowing, nerve wracking, patience trying step of this crazy journey, I have always had the amazing support of some of the best women on this planet. They have been my strong hold, my cheerleaders, my listening ear, my open arms, they have always been my family. I would be totally wacko if not for these amazing people.
As a parting thought, I leave you with this. A long time ago my dad brought me a poem home to hang on my wall and I have leaned on it a lot these past days. It is called Don't Quit. So when you get down and you don't know if you have the strength to keep going one second longer, I give to you the same words I was given. .
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!
Always remember this. When you get down and things get hard and rough in your life, there is always someone out there who has it so much worse.
Until next time my lovies.
B
Jon saw the neurologist and an orthopedics specialist last week. The neurologist ended up giving him a headache preventative called propranolol. The rest of that appointment I am shaky on because they had me leave the room and he can't remember what she told him after I left which was what I was hoping to prevent while being in there.
Next was his ortho appointment for his back, knees, and feet. They took x-rays of all three and his bones look great. They are sound and show no signs of any injury. So, that doctor is pretty sure he has an arthritis problem in those particular joints and just a mass of inflammation in the muscles and tendons. For the inflammation they gave him Mobic and for the pain they gave him Tramadol.
He starts physical therapy at WRAMC this upcoming Monday. He has to be there by 0830. Next week he also has a sleep study being done up at AAFB.
The Zoloft and Prazosin seem to be really working although I think one of his new medications are counteracting the Prazosin. He has been extremely combative in his sleep this past week. Two days ago
We have also started using a color system in the house to identify and voice emotions. For example, if I get upset, angry, irritated, etc. . .all I would have to say is "I am going to red, please go some where for a few minutes and let me get a hold on it" or say if I notice him getting agitated or a little too forceful with the boys I can say "Orange, go take a break and calm down". .
Jon responds to the color system really well. We had a safe word there for a bit but he would usually just stare at me like I was stupid when I would use it to get him to back off or to take time to myself.
Thanks to the NMC nurse, his caseworker, and the CDC, I have actually been getting some help too! Someone donated a grant to us so now the boys are in daycare three days a week plus all appointments we may have. Caleb is thriving in that environment. They lady they stay with runs the daycare out of her home and has two kids their age. They both love it.
Let's see. I took Andrew to the doctor day before yesterday for a little infection in both ears and a HUGE blood blister on his gums. I had never seen something like that before so I just wanted to make sure. They say it should burst on its own and that molar should poke through on its own. He is 28 pounds and 31 inches tall.
I feel like I am floundering here, like I am failing miserably at keeping my family grounded. Between making sure the three of them have everything they need and keeping all of us on track and schedule, I rarely have time to remember that I am here.
I keep hoping that things will level out and calm down but it seems for now that I am stuck in this state of living in fast forward. I rarely have time to breathe let alone eat or sleep. I am stuck between complete exhaustion and frenzied activity.
The bright spot in this mess of crazy has always been and will always be my boys. It is so hard to have a bad day when every time they smile at me my heart melts. Let me share one such moment,a moment that reminds me that no matter how crazy things get or how tired or sick or disheartened I may become. . I always have two smiling faces and two sets of arms that make it all better. I know that no matter what happens in my life or has happened in the past. . I must have done something right to be blessed with these two amazing little people.
Through every harrowing, nerve wracking, patience trying step of this crazy journey, I have always had the amazing support of some of the best women on this planet. They have been my strong hold, my cheerleaders, my listening ear, my open arms, they have always been my family. I would be totally wacko if not for these amazing people.
As a parting thought, I leave you with this. A long time ago my dad brought me a poem home to hang on my wall and I have leaned on it a lot these past days. It is called Don't Quit. So when you get down and you don't know if you have the strength to keep going one second longer, I give to you the same words I was given. .
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!
Always remember this. When you get down and things get hard and rough in your life, there is always someone out there who has it so much worse.
Until next time my lovies.
B
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Two Weeks of Chaos. ..The Misadventures of Boys
Hello my lovelies. .miss me?
Well, the chaos that has taken over my days as of late has been going on for a little more than two weeks. So, let's start on June 17th and let me catch you up.
For the past couple of weeks, we have been waiting on TBI results to come in from Richmond. His doctors are fairly certain he has at least a mild traumatic brain injury, it would explain a lot of things.
While waiting on this, we are getting a lot of other things pegged and straightened out. Jon saw a ophthalmologist last week and has been giving glasses, they are sure that his eyes are playing a major role is his headaches. I have to agree. Been there, done that. Coming up he has a consult with an orthopedist to get his back and knees taken care of.
After those two appointments, he will see a neurologist and have a sleep study done. Those appointments are coming up this month. We will be traveling to Bethesda, Andrews Air Force Base, Walter Reed, and Dewitt for those.
He continues to see someone for his PTSD and is doing better this week than last. His medications are doing there job and we make more progress everyday it seems. We are at a impasse for now and continue to move one step forward and two steps back. He continues to fight this every day and refuses to let it consume him anymore. I have rarely ever been more proud.
Last week our little family started the FOCUS class and I am so excited! It has been great so far. What it does is help our family build the skills we need to get through this. This is a class that we all take. It is focusing on our problem solving skills, communication, and overall well-being of our family. We've already been to two classes. They are helping me teach Caleb to use colors to tell us how he is feeling and I am so excited about that. Caleb has always been great at letting mommy know what he wants or needs and if he doesn't feel good but he struggles expressing that to others.
Another exciting thing that has come our way is child care. The EECE and EFMP programs are providing daycare for the boys three times a week plus appointment dates. They have done spectacular with it so far. They love it and barely notice we are gone. I think I am the one who has had the most trouble with them being gone.
The boys continue to thrive and grow. Every day with them is an adventure and I thank God for them every single night. I absolutely adore my children and fall a little more in love with them every day. Now, let us get get into the other stuff. The picture stuff I have been able to document.
On June 22nd, we traveled to Bethesda with Caleb to see a pediatric cardiology specialist. The heart murmur he was born with was still easily detected so they wanted to have him evaluated. Talk about scary! He underwent a physical exam, an EKG, and a cardiac ultrasound. The doctor tells me that while it is still so easily detected, it seems to be benign. They see no need to restrict him from any activities but want him to re-evaluated in a few years because of the nature of the murmur. Fewer sights stops a mothers heart cold but I do believe seeing him hooked up to that machine was one of them.
The boys decided it would be fun to dismantle my kitchen while I went to the bathroom. I came out and found them like this. Cute right
Mr Andrew tried spaghetti for the first time the other night. This was the end result
Yes, you are seeing that right. While getting ready for our FOCUS class yesterday, the boys decided to go play in the dirty laundry. Them came out wearing my bra. Caleb had it tied to him and Andrew both.
As a parting thought for the day I leave you with this.
Everything has a purpose and a reason. We may not understand it at the time but in time it will come. I don't know about you guys but it seems like whenever my faith is running low or I am struggling a little bit harder than usual, that those are the times God smiles at me and lets me know. . I am here. . you just don't always see me.
Until next time
B
Well, the chaos that has taken over my days as of late has been going on for a little more than two weeks. So, let's start on June 17th and let me catch you up.
For the past couple of weeks, we have been waiting on TBI results to come in from Richmond. His doctors are fairly certain he has at least a mild traumatic brain injury, it would explain a lot of things.
While waiting on this, we are getting a lot of other things pegged and straightened out. Jon saw a ophthalmologist last week and has been giving glasses, they are sure that his eyes are playing a major role is his headaches. I have to agree. Been there, done that. Coming up he has a consult with an orthopedist to get his back and knees taken care of.
After those two appointments, he will see a neurologist and have a sleep study done. Those appointments are coming up this month. We will be traveling to Bethesda, Andrews Air Force Base, Walter Reed, and Dewitt for those.
He continues to see someone for his PTSD and is doing better this week than last. His medications are doing there job and we make more progress everyday it seems. We are at a impasse for now and continue to move one step forward and two steps back. He continues to fight this every day and refuses to let it consume him anymore. I have rarely ever been more proud.
Last week our little family started the FOCUS class and I am so excited! It has been great so far. What it does is help our family build the skills we need to get through this. This is a class that we all take. It is focusing on our problem solving skills, communication, and overall well-being of our family. We've already been to two classes. They are helping me teach Caleb to use colors to tell us how he is feeling and I am so excited about that. Caleb has always been great at letting mommy know what he wants or needs and if he doesn't feel good but he struggles expressing that to others.
Another exciting thing that has come our way is child care. The EECE and EFMP programs are providing daycare for the boys three times a week plus appointment dates. They have done spectacular with it so far. They love it and barely notice we are gone. I think I am the one who has had the most trouble with them being gone.
The boys continue to thrive and grow. Every day with them is an adventure and I thank God for them every single night. I absolutely adore my children and fall a little more in love with them every day. Now, let us get get into the other stuff. The picture stuff I have been able to document.
On June 22nd, we traveled to Bethesda with Caleb to see a pediatric cardiology specialist. The heart murmur he was born with was still easily detected so they wanted to have him evaluated. Talk about scary! He underwent a physical exam, an EKG, and a cardiac ultrasound. The doctor tells me that while it is still so easily detected, it seems to be benign. They see no need to restrict him from any activities but want him to re-evaluated in a few years because of the nature of the murmur. Fewer sights stops a mothers heart cold but I do believe seeing him hooked up to that machine was one of them.
The boys decided it would be fun to dismantle my kitchen while I went to the bathroom. I came out and found them like this. Cute right
Mr Andrew tried spaghetti for the first time the other night. This was the end result
Yes, you are seeing that right. While getting ready for our FOCUS class yesterday, the boys decided to go play in the dirty laundry. Them came out wearing my bra. Caleb had it tied to him and Andrew both.
As a parting thought for the day I leave you with this.
Everything has a purpose and a reason. We may not understand it at the time but in time it will come. I don't know about you guys but it seems like whenever my faith is running low or I am struggling a little bit harder than usual, that those are the times God smiles at me and lets me know. . I am here. . you just don't always see me.
Until next time
B
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Excuse Me!?!?!
Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head, and ignore reality until it rights itself again? OR scratch your head and wonder, what the heck did I do? I am sure you have. . I do too.
Yesterday was one such day, a by-product of the night before. After a midnight meltdown Monday night brought on by changed orders, I received a 2am martial arts lesson. That really should have been my first clue. Being victim to a sneak attack in the dead of night has a way of getting a person on the move.
Tuesday started in a mess of night terrors, complete exhaustion, and a relentless migraine. Jon went ahead and took the car to work in effort to give the boys and I a couple more hours of sleep, hoping it would improve our dispositions all around. HA!
The boys had been out of bed all of 10 minutes before they openly declared war on mommy. Caleb decided it would be fun to use Andrew as a trampoline, to which Andrew just shrieked shrilly and tried his level best to fight back. The end result was complete destruction of all cleaning and order I managed to give to the house.. . .A day in the life right?
Fast forward to breakfast. Most of it ended on the floor. Ehh whatever, they are little boys, messes pretty much come with the territory. The fun part of the day began shortly after I got them cleaned up from breakfast. After getting Caleb dressed and turning him loose and starting on Andrew, Caleb decided to hide all of mommy's clothes. You wouldn't think a three year old would hide stuff that well. You are so wrong. Not only did he hide the first set of clothes that I set out for myself to wear, but the second and third as well. Yep. By the time I got all of us ready to go and Jon got home, we were running behind.
We get Jon to the doctor where he has to sit for over an hour past his appointment time before they see him. Call me crazy but give someone an appointment if you aren't going to see them until an hour later? It wasn't in lieu of being packed or busy, there were one or two people there at most. His appointment was at 1330 but he wasn't seen until 1445.
Nothing was being accomplished by the boys and I just sitting there twiddling our thumbs while we waited so, we went to cross some errands off of the list. The post office was first. Upon the guy arguing with me for a good 10 minutes about spending 50 dollars to insure a box, I got it done and went back out to the car. The car was parked right outside of the door in clear view of the window I was at getting my package and cards in the mail.
In the time it took me to pay for my things, Caleb had unbuckled himself, thrown Andrew's shoes out of the window, his shoes out the window, tossed all of my CDs around the car, and was hanging out of the window shouting at the top of his lungs "MOMMY I DO IT MOMMY I DO IT!". .skill I tell you, this kid amazes me.
After this we head to the commissary where the icing on the cake of my day is made. I get both boys out of the car, Andrew is on my hip and Caleb is holding onto my hand as we walk. I drop his hand and let him walk on his own, he never goes far and stays within reaching distance of me at all times.
Scant seconds later this man comes barreling down the "isle" in the parking lot and plows into my three year old child and knocks him flat on his rear. I look at this man who is looking at me and my children with this look of utter horror and disgust on his face.
He dusts off his cammie blouse, straightens his chevrons (he was a warrant officer) and looks at me. For as long as I live I will never forget what happened next.
This man looks at my child who is trying to put his shoes back on, and then turns to me and says "Aren't you going to make him apologize to me?"
Now I know most of you reading this are reacting in a similar manner as I did. I looked at this man who is easily three or four times my size, and has a good 15 or 20 years on me, raise my eyebrows, and reply "Excuse me?"
He again repeats "Aren't you going to make him apologize?" I have come across my fair share of jerks at this base but none as pretentious and obnoxious as this man, who was standing in front of me demanding that I make my three year old child apologize to this man for being the one knocked over onto the wet ground.
My verbal filter is pretty much non-existent when I am tired, and my temper was already flared at the happenings of the day already. There is nothing that sets fire to my temper than pretentious jerks that think they are God's gift to the world because they happen to be officers. I have met some great men here, ones who insisted on helping a frazzled mother of two, on the flip side I have also come across those people you just want to reach out and smack.
For those of you who know me, and those of you who don't, I am sure you can only imagine what happened next. I helped Caleb to his feet and he hid behind my leg. I looked at this man who was demanding retribution for HIM tripping MY child and let go of the hold I had on my tongue. The conversation progressed as follows.
"Well sir, no I am not going to make him apologize."
"What?!"
"I said I am not going to make him apologize. Maybe next time you should take your head our of your rear and your nose out of your phone and pay attention to where you are going, maybe then YOU wouldn't be plowing over children not even a quarter of your size. If I make my child to anything it will be to kick you in the shin as we walk past."
This man then proceeds to roll his eyes like a teenage girl, mutters ugh, and then some vulgar comment about women and children in general and stomps off with the poor bag boy trailing after him.
The day just got better huh. We come home, Jon goes to work, and the boys and I settle in for the night. Jon and I finally get wound down to sleep around 4 in the morning after he gets home.
This morning we all hit the ground running. We went to Woodbridge to get copies of their last check up, then back to base to the CDC to enroll them at the center.
Part of the new family "game plan" with all of this PTSD and TBI business is that I need help too. Not because I am sick or anything but the case manager says that I have to accept I can only do so much at once. In addition to taking care of and raising two children a great deal on my own, I also run a household, comply with the demands his job makes on us, go to school, and take care of everything else, I also have to take care of and keep track of doctors appointments not only for myself and the boys but Jon as well.
So, in addition to taking care of Jon and making sure he has all he needs to get better, they have also given the boys and I tools to help us cope and learn how to help Jon as well. Happy dancing for us!
As a part of this, they have set the boys and I up for classes and groups and day care three times a week for a few hours as well as child care for doctors appointments and all groups as well. EEEEeeeeePPPPPsss!
We got them all signed up for daycare at the CDC today. All taken care of courtesy of the WWP and EEC which caters to and helps families of military personnel with PTSD and TBI's.
It is a huge relief to know this. Not only do I get a few hours a week to myself now, but I also get time to finish my schoolwork, concentrate on each child at their specific appointments, but I also get time to focus on one thing at a time! Happy Dancing over here!
Just goes to show that there is always an upside to every down and an answer to every prayer made even if it isn't the one you wanted.
In closing I leave you with my thought for the day.
Things happen for a reason and there is a reason and answer to everything even though we may not see it or notice at the time. Nothing is ever in vain. There is always a lesson to learn, something you may not have seen or accepted before. The trick to understanding and embracing it is to fully open your heart and mind to it. After all, some of Gods' greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
Until next time!
B
Yesterday was one such day, a by-product of the night before. After a midnight meltdown Monday night brought on by changed orders, I received a 2am martial arts lesson. That really should have been my first clue. Being victim to a sneak attack in the dead of night has a way of getting a person on the move.
Tuesday started in a mess of night terrors, complete exhaustion, and a relentless migraine. Jon went ahead and took the car to work in effort to give the boys and I a couple more hours of sleep, hoping it would improve our dispositions all around. HA!
The boys had been out of bed all of 10 minutes before they openly declared war on mommy. Caleb decided it would be fun to use Andrew as a trampoline, to which Andrew just shrieked shrilly and tried his level best to fight back. The end result was complete destruction of all cleaning and order I managed to give to the house.. . .A day in the life right?
Fast forward to breakfast. Most of it ended on the floor. Ehh whatever, they are little boys, messes pretty much come with the territory. The fun part of the day began shortly after I got them cleaned up from breakfast. After getting Caleb dressed and turning him loose and starting on Andrew, Caleb decided to hide all of mommy's clothes. You wouldn't think a three year old would hide stuff that well. You are so wrong. Not only did he hide the first set of clothes that I set out for myself to wear, but the second and third as well. Yep. By the time I got all of us ready to go and Jon got home, we were running behind.
We get Jon to the doctor where he has to sit for over an hour past his appointment time before they see him. Call me crazy but give someone an appointment if you aren't going to see them until an hour later? It wasn't in lieu of being packed or busy, there were one or two people there at most. His appointment was at 1330 but he wasn't seen until 1445.
Nothing was being accomplished by the boys and I just sitting there twiddling our thumbs while we waited so, we went to cross some errands off of the list. The post office was first. Upon the guy arguing with me for a good 10 minutes about spending 50 dollars to insure a box, I got it done and went back out to the car. The car was parked right outside of the door in clear view of the window I was at getting my package and cards in the mail.
In the time it took me to pay for my things, Caleb had unbuckled himself, thrown Andrew's shoes out of the window, his shoes out the window, tossed all of my CDs around the car, and was hanging out of the window shouting at the top of his lungs "MOMMY I DO IT MOMMY I DO IT!". .skill I tell you, this kid amazes me.
After this we head to the commissary where the icing on the cake of my day is made. I get both boys out of the car, Andrew is on my hip and Caleb is holding onto my hand as we walk. I drop his hand and let him walk on his own, he never goes far and stays within reaching distance of me at all times.
Scant seconds later this man comes barreling down the "isle" in the parking lot and plows into my three year old child and knocks him flat on his rear. I look at this man who is looking at me and my children with this look of utter horror and disgust on his face.
He dusts off his cammie blouse, straightens his chevrons (he was a warrant officer) and looks at me. For as long as I live I will never forget what happened next.
This man looks at my child who is trying to put his shoes back on, and then turns to me and says "Aren't you going to make him apologize to me?"
Now I know most of you reading this are reacting in a similar manner as I did. I looked at this man who is easily three or four times my size, and has a good 15 or 20 years on me, raise my eyebrows, and reply "Excuse me?"
He again repeats "Aren't you going to make him apologize?" I have come across my fair share of jerks at this base but none as pretentious and obnoxious as this man, who was standing in front of me demanding that I make my three year old child apologize to this man for being the one knocked over onto the wet ground.
My verbal filter is pretty much non-existent when I am tired, and my temper was already flared at the happenings of the day already. There is nothing that sets fire to my temper than pretentious jerks that think they are God's gift to the world because they happen to be officers. I have met some great men here, ones who insisted on helping a frazzled mother of two, on the flip side I have also come across those people you just want to reach out and smack.
For those of you who know me, and those of you who don't, I am sure you can only imagine what happened next. I helped Caleb to his feet and he hid behind my leg. I looked at this man who was demanding retribution for HIM tripping MY child and let go of the hold I had on my tongue. The conversation progressed as follows.
"Well sir, no I am not going to make him apologize."
"What?!"
"I said I am not going to make him apologize. Maybe next time you should take your head our of your rear and your nose out of your phone and pay attention to where you are going, maybe then YOU wouldn't be plowing over children not even a quarter of your size. If I make my child to anything it will be to kick you in the shin as we walk past."
This man then proceeds to roll his eyes like a teenage girl, mutters ugh, and then some vulgar comment about women and children in general and stomps off with the poor bag boy trailing after him.
The day just got better huh. We come home, Jon goes to work, and the boys and I settle in for the night. Jon and I finally get wound down to sleep around 4 in the morning after he gets home.
This morning we all hit the ground running. We went to Woodbridge to get copies of their last check up, then back to base to the CDC to enroll them at the center.
Part of the new family "game plan" with all of this PTSD and TBI business is that I need help too. Not because I am sick or anything but the case manager says that I have to accept I can only do so much at once. In addition to taking care of and raising two children a great deal on my own, I also run a household, comply with the demands his job makes on us, go to school, and take care of everything else, I also have to take care of and keep track of doctors appointments not only for myself and the boys but Jon as well.
So, in addition to taking care of Jon and making sure he has all he needs to get better, they have also given the boys and I tools to help us cope and learn how to help Jon as well. Happy dancing for us!
As a part of this, they have set the boys and I up for classes and groups and day care three times a week for a few hours as well as child care for doctors appointments and all groups as well. EEEEeeeeePPPPPsss!
We got them all signed up for daycare at the CDC today. All taken care of courtesy of the WWP and EEC which caters to and helps families of military personnel with PTSD and TBI's.
It is a huge relief to know this. Not only do I get a few hours a week to myself now, but I also get time to finish my schoolwork, concentrate on each child at their specific appointments, but I also get time to focus on one thing at a time! Happy Dancing over here!
Just goes to show that there is always an upside to every down and an answer to every prayer made even if it isn't the one you wanted.
In closing I leave you with my thought for the day.
Things happen for a reason and there is a reason and answer to everything even though we may not see it or notice at the time. Nothing is ever in vain. There is always a lesson to learn, something you may not have seen or accepted before. The trick to understanding and embracing it is to fully open your heart and mind to it. After all, some of Gods' greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
Until next time!
B
Monday, June 14, 2010
Just Another Day In Paradise. . Toddler/Baby UFC Match
Today started out as any other day in the house of P. .well almost. I was woken up around 10 this morning by a shrill shriek followed by a loud "MA MA MA MA MA MA MA".
At this I dart out of bed and make my way into into Andrew's room to find him sitting there in his crib grinning at me. Nice way to start the morning. I walk the 10 feet in between their rooms to get Caleb as he is now fully awake.
I bend over to pick him up and as he wraps his chubby little arms around my neck and says "Morning my mommy Beav. I lub you so much. Chew?". . .This sets the tune for most of our day. I take him into the bathroom to get his chew, which is his allergy medication, and he proceeds to pop it in his mouth and look at me with that full out grin that screams Jon and says "Mmmm Mommy that's good stuff!"
We go get Andrew and settle in for breakfast. They finish and get down to play and the fun really begins. After dumping both toy boxes, they play. About 15 minutes later while I am cleaning up the kitchen and switching some laundry I hear Caleb yelling.
I go into the livingroom /play room and can finally hear what he is saying. "LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT BRUDDER! LET ME OUT!"
For those of you who know my children, you know that when this occurs some one is usually trapped. I look around to the back door and here is what I see. .
Andrew has overturned the larger of the two toy boxes over on top of his brother and is banging on it cackling madly. Caleb, is underneath screaming for all he is worth. I went and got Andrew and freed Caleb who in turn gets Andrew back not even a full 10 minutes later. I hear a grand crashing from the area of the dining room and I turn to see this. . .
Caleb has overturned the kitchen table chairs on top of his brother who is yelling at the top of his lungs "BUH BUH BUH BUH" which is what he calls Caleb. NO crying or screaming instead my one year old child is shouting at his brother in what I like to think of as his "when I get out of here you are so gonna regret it" shout.
He finally frees himself and upon seeing this Caleb darts into the kitchen trying not so stealthily to hide behind the garbage can. I hear another crash while I an en route and walk straight into the war zone.
Andrew has since become enamored with yanking the mini blinds off of the wall. Caleb sneaks up on him and starts hip butting him with no success.
I finally take my little UFC fighters into the livingroom to finish up Shrek and have their lunches. Nap time was only minutes away. My phone rings and I answer it to talk to the lady who is helping me arrange child care for the boys. . .FOR FREE!. . .all the while they are eating and tossing fruit loops at each other. .their lunches forgotten. I had one boy on the couch while I changed and cleaned up the other and vice versa. I find my angelic little children grinning like monkeys at me.
From Andrew I get this face
From Caleb I get this one
Now please tell me who can get mad at those little faces?!
Finally I get to take them upstairs to nap! WOO HOO! My favorite time of day. I get to clean up the chaos that is the first 8 hours and get ready to do it all over. My life is imperfectly perfect.
Tomorrow is full of appointments, grocery shopping, paying bills, and running around like a chicken with my head cut off. .I would change it for all of the money in the world.
In parting, I ask that you all pray for a very special little girl who is just 9 days old and already facing a harsh illness. She is fighting every step of the way, and how could she not?! She is the product of one of this countries finest warriors and a very strong and awesome mommy. Keep Baby K and the rest of Team A in your prayers. Send all positive energy their way.
As a final thought, I leave you with the words to one of my favorite songs. As imperfect, and crazy as my days usually are, it is just another day in paradise. . my paradise.
he kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things
Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise
Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks like
Dominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?
Until next time my loves,
B
At this I dart out of bed and make my way into into Andrew's room to find him sitting there in his crib grinning at me. Nice way to start the morning. I walk the 10 feet in between their rooms to get Caleb as he is now fully awake.
I bend over to pick him up and as he wraps his chubby little arms around my neck and says "Morning my mommy Beav. I lub you so much. Chew?". . .This sets the tune for most of our day. I take him into the bathroom to get his chew, which is his allergy medication, and he proceeds to pop it in his mouth and look at me with that full out grin that screams Jon and says "Mmmm Mommy that's good stuff!"
We go get Andrew and settle in for breakfast. They finish and get down to play and the fun really begins. After dumping both toy boxes, they play. About 15 minutes later while I am cleaning up the kitchen and switching some laundry I hear Caleb yelling.
I go into the livingroom /play room and can finally hear what he is saying. "LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT BRUDDER! LET ME OUT!"
For those of you who know my children, you know that when this occurs some one is usually trapped. I look around to the back door and here is what I see. .
Andrew has overturned the larger of the two toy boxes over on top of his brother and is banging on it cackling madly. Caleb, is underneath screaming for all he is worth. I went and got Andrew and freed Caleb who in turn gets Andrew back not even a full 10 minutes later. I hear a grand crashing from the area of the dining room and I turn to see this. . .
Caleb has overturned the kitchen table chairs on top of his brother who is yelling at the top of his lungs "BUH BUH BUH BUH" which is what he calls Caleb. NO crying or screaming instead my one year old child is shouting at his brother in what I like to think of as his "when I get out of here you are so gonna regret it" shout.
He finally frees himself and upon seeing this Caleb darts into the kitchen trying not so stealthily to hide behind the garbage can. I hear another crash while I an en route and walk straight into the war zone.
Andrew has since become enamored with yanking the mini blinds off of the wall. Caleb sneaks up on him and starts hip butting him with no success.
I finally take my little UFC fighters into the livingroom to finish up Shrek and have their lunches. Nap time was only minutes away. My phone rings and I answer it to talk to the lady who is helping me arrange child care for the boys. . .FOR FREE!. . .all the while they are eating and tossing fruit loops at each other. .their lunches forgotten. I had one boy on the couch while I changed and cleaned up the other and vice versa. I find my angelic little children grinning like monkeys at me.
From Andrew I get this face
From Caleb I get this one
Now please tell me who can get mad at those little faces?!
Finally I get to take them upstairs to nap! WOO HOO! My favorite time of day. I get to clean up the chaos that is the first 8 hours and get ready to do it all over. My life is imperfectly perfect.
Tomorrow is full of appointments, grocery shopping, paying bills, and running around like a chicken with my head cut off. .I would change it for all of the money in the world.
In parting, I ask that you all pray for a very special little girl who is just 9 days old and already facing a harsh illness. She is fighting every step of the way, and how could she not?! She is the product of one of this countries finest warriors and a very strong and awesome mommy. Keep Baby K and the rest of Team A in your prayers. Send all positive energy their way.
As a final thought, I leave you with the words to one of my favorite songs. As imperfect, and crazy as my days usually are, it is just another day in paradise. . my paradise.
he kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things
Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise
Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks like
Dominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?
Until next time my loves,
B
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