I can readily admit this: The past few weeks have boarded on the line of pure chaos. While getting caught up in all that I forgot the one person and one area of my life.
With all of the goings on, getting no sleep, stressing about bills and family, taking care of 4 people, and dealing with unknown diagnoses has stretch my will and and strength to its' breaking point. I feel like if I am pulled any thinner I will break.
The past few weeks I have struggled with my faith, understanding, strength. I have doubted myself, my capabilities, my strength, and my will. I have lost sight of them completely.
These past couple of days especially have tested me. I am tired, worn out, stressed out, run down, and taking care of two sick kids and Jon. Last night I ended up sobbing like a child, shutting down, and ended up having an all out meltdown.
I went to put my laundry away and came across a little plaque given to me by dad. On it were the words "IF ALL ELSE FAILS, CALL DAD." That is precisely what I did. Gave me things to think about and I want to share them. They are Matthew 11:28 and Psalms 46.
Psalm 46
- God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
- Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
- Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
- There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
- God is in the amidst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
- The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
- The aLord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
- Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
- He maketh awars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
- 10 Be astill, and bknow that I am God: I will be cexalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
- The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
Matthew 11:28
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden , and I will give you rest . Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
After reading those I realized something. Whenever my faith is failing me or I am losing hope, HE is there. Through every doubt I have and every trial when I think he isn't listening, those are the times he says. .look around you and be thankful. You may not see me all of the time, but I am there.
So I leave you with this saying, and this amazing song that I love.
"Let go and let God"
and
"I Pray" by Lonestar
I can't quote the Bible
I skipped Sunday school
And I can't count the times I fell and broken the golden rule
So I don't know if He listens
Sometimes I wonder if He cares
Maybe I'm just wishin'
'Cause I can't even prove he's there
But I pray
He'll watch over my childern
I pray
Just to be a better man
To find the strength to rise above
To be there for the ones I love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
Now I confess I don't bow my head as often as I should
Mostly just when times are bad, rarely when they're good
And I don't hold with too much preachin'
But I was raised up to believe
That a man can't ever stand as tall
As when he gets down on his knees
So I pray
He'll watch over my childern
I pray
Just to be a better man
To find the strength to rise above
To be there for the ones I love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
So I pray
For a world that's gone half crazy
I pray
For every woman child and man
To find the strength to rise above
To teach each other how to love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
I pray
Until next time my loveys
B
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