Thursday, July 26, 2012

It Comes Full Circle

Hi blogging world. It's been a while hasn't it. The past few months have certainly been hectic. Well, when I think about it the past year and a half has been crazy. The last time I was here it was Memorial Day. It was one of the many days a year that we openly talk and discuss this crazy life with our boys. We try our best to help them understand what it means, teach them about the sacrifices made to maintain it, and about the uniqueness of the hundreds of thousands of men and women who live it.

Since May our little family has been busy. Caleb has started therapy and treatment for his Autism Spectrum Disorder, Andrew celebrated his 3rd birthday, Caleb celebrated his 5th birthday, and Jon and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. It is amazing to think how far we have traveled from where we started that evening in March those years ago. We have lived, loved, fought, cried, and survived together. By all accounts we should have fallen apart but here we are stronger than ever.

All medical proxies have been returned to their rightful place and I am so very proud to say that while he may never be 100% , Jon is most definitely under his own function again. Through different and innovative types of therapy, he has not only grown but surpassed original expectations his doctors had when he started treatment. He has been able to phase out all medication save for the occasional motrin. I tell you all of this because if brings me to my next point and the purpose of this blog entry.

Some four months ago Jon was returned to full combat ready status! I will never forget the look on his face or the smile he worse the day they handed him that paper. It has been a hard road but he did it! Since returning to combat ready status he has been moved and will soon be deploying.

It is such a bittersweet and proud moment for me because while I am so unbelievably proud of him, I will be sad to see him go. In the six plus years of our marriage we have only been apart a handful of weeks and no more than twelve at a time. I am incredibly spoiled in that respect.

My heart bursts with pride watching him prepare and train to go. He is so excited. The new knowledge he is acquiring and combining with what he already has is making for an interesting atmosphere in our house. Right now the boys and I are enjoying the benefits of Pashto. I am told that the next language will be Kartuli.

I will be sad about all of those nights I am going to sleep alone and those holidays that he will miss later. But for now I will hold his hand and share his excitement with pride and love because this is what he has been working so hard for. This is what he loves.

Things really have come full circle. Here are a few pictures of our peanuts and my mother from her recent visit. Oh how they have grown :)

Until next time,


Monday, May 28, 2012


Often Tested, Always Faithful, Brothers Forever.

To most people that wouldn't make a bit of sense but to those who have braved the terrors of war truer words have never been spoken. War changes a man. Some changes you can see and others you can't.

When I started this blog it was a way for me to deal with my husbands injury and his PTSD. It was a way for me to chronicle the ups and downs of dealing as a family with these terms that have become so taboo. I came here to laugh, to cry, to rant, and to rave. It was a place where I could pour out those rough nights where I just needed it out. It is hard watching one of the strongest men you know toss and turn and cry out and beg his brothers to forgive him. Some nights I wasn't sure what he was begging forgiveness for. It broke my heart every time.

It has been almost 7 years since his tour began and just over 6 since he returned home. On the outside he was fine. He had all ten fingers and toes. He walked and talked like normal. But we all know that looks can be deceiving. Looking at him that long ago February day I never would have guessed what kind of special hell he was living in.

In the intervening years I have learned more and more about those seven guys who lost their lives in OIF 3. I learned about what they liked and what they didn't. I learned about what made them laugh and what made them angry. I learned about their families and their habits. Lastly, I learned about their deaths. One thing always stuck out to me throughout these stories and today I want to remember that.

Every single one of them are ok with their sacrifices. They know that the sacrifices they made through their blinding fear and uncertainty and fierce determination allowed one of their brothers to come home. I say brothers for a reason. It is a word that transcends all normal ideals us normal people have of family.

They fight together, they live together, and die together. Watching any number of them together and you will see what I am talking about. The teasing and loud boistorous racket that would annoy most on the outside looking in is in all acutality the true sign of their dedication to one another. To those of us who get to see it from the inside it is humbling. That dedication doesn't lessen when one leaves this world either. They honor each other every single day.

Every year on Memorial Day when we put our boys to bed we tell them a story. The boys like to call it "the story about the heroes". When we lay them down that night we tell them about each of them. We tell them what they were like and how they lived. We try our best to tell them about theri sacrifices and that they should always remember what that means. Every single one of the freedoms we enjoy were bought and paid for with someones blood sweat and tears.

Today I challenge everyone who reads this to remember. Remember the sacrfices of the servicemen and women who paid the ultimate price for our freedom.

I know this girl will. I may not be able to erase the pain from those who loved them and lost them. I will never be able to make the fact that they are gone ok, but there is one thing I can always do. I can ensure that their legacy and sacrifices are never forgotten. As long as I live their stories will be told.

Hug your families today. Hug them as tight as you can and offer up a prayer of thanks to those who gave their lives for you.